Goodbye to my imaginary friend—Jesus

There is a prayer in twelve-step work—somewhere around step three or so: “Lord, free me from everything I thought I knew in order to have an entirely new experience with you.” 

For some reason I was prompted to pray that prayer a few days ago—specifically focusing on Jesus.  “Lord, free me from who I have imagined you to be—free me from the Jesus created in MY image—free me to know the real Jesus.  Not the pseudo-Jesus that has more to do with Freud and the turmoils of my inner parent or governor. Free me to know the real Jesus who lived and died here on planet earth. The one coming back for us maybe even sooner than we all realize.”

The effects of that prayer were profound.  A sense of deep gratitude settled over me.  A ceramic cup in my hand was not just a cup. The Creator of the universe made the elements that formed that cup—that formed me—created the geometry of life—invented circles.  A table, a book—both took me back to trees—felled and formed into paper, into furniture.  I prayed, “Lord let me heart beat with your heart” and felt a deep resonance within. 

I prayed,

“Forgive me for what I have done to please my imaginary Jesus—especially those I have sought to impress.”

“Forgive me for trying to rack up spiritual brownie points for doing this and doing that.”

“Forgive me for wanting people to notice how good I am in my carefully constructed ‘humble’ way—you know—so as not to appear proud or overbearing.”

 Yes.  I declare an official break up with the imaginary friend Jesus who is mostly about my inner need to please others for the sake of my own sick desire for approval.  Goodbye to my terms and conditions.  Goodbye to my agenda. 

Today’s little calendar says:  “Life is all about loving God and loving others—it really is as simple as that.” 

Goodbye to the complications of putting on my version of the Holy Spirit like a cloak. 

Hello Jesus—whose yoke is easy and burden is light.   

 

Next:  See you Later, Procrastinator

Comments?  Email me at Jana.gillham@gmail.com.  Make sure to put AOF in the subject line. 

Rules of engagement:  1. I respect you and expect to be respected. 2.  I am not plugged in 24/7 so replies will rarely be immediate.

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